Good Evening America. My name is Donald H. Rumsfeld. I'd like to explain our Foreign Policy to those of you who haven't quite figured it out yet. To assist me I have the military on my left, and on my right here, let me introduce you to my conscience. Heh heh, little joke there to lighten the mood, because I haven't got one.
First of all, we find some pretext under which to invade... sorry... liberate your country. Then we fly in and blow the shit out of you. We give it a good codename like 'Shock and Awe' because if we called it killing civilians it doesn't look good. We make sure we don't show any pictures in the media that you might find distressing. Luckily enough, CNN and FOX NEWS and all those guys are too chicken shit to tell you the truth about what war is actually like. And if anybody disagrees with what we're doing we call them unpatriotic, or traitors, or we say they are putting our country at risk. It's hilarious, really, you'd be amazed at how we've got the media eating out of our hands.
Next, and this is the good bit, we grab your oil. Just like this. It's a fucking feeding frenzy, and we make a shit load of money. And what's even better is, we destroy the infrastructure of your country, and then give the job of rebuilding it to our buddies who are eternally grateful, heh heh, if you know what I mean, for a chance to get in on the action. You should try it. It's a-fucking-mazing how much money we're pulling in. We can't lose.
Now I know what you're thinking. You want to know how you, the great American public fit into the picture. Well let me tell you. We need your children; your sons and daughters; your fathers and mothers to go occupy the country we've liberated..... HA HA. Sorry, that cracks me up every time. You get the picture though, the military holds the country down while we rummage through the pockets of the fuckers who we've attacked. We rob them blind while you, through your compliance and your taxes provide us with the means to do it.
So there you have it. But just in case you still don't understand the intricacies of our Foreign Policy, which, by the way, also happens to be our Domestic Policy let me put it this way...
Oh, and ignore this. It's just propaganda from some bleeding heart liberal sonofabitch. Take my word for it. They don't count. They may be caught up in the Iraq war but they don't have stock options so fuck 'em.
